Scraps Of Mind

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I’ve been home these last two days with a bad cold. Now in the past I would have ‘soldiered on’ and spread my germs across the widest possible audience at work. But this time, maybe because I’m feeling a bit jaded about work, I decided to take the sick days (God knows I’ve got plenty accumulated) and not inflict my misery on other people’s Easter Weekend.

So why do I feel guilty?

I’ve done more housework in the last two days than in the last month! How dumb is that? I’ve just finished cleaning the shower (one of my pet hates) and sweeping and washing the floors in the whole house, except the bedrooms. This is, of course, excellent therapy when you’re feeling sick…not! I’m now completely wrecked; sitting here with a cup of restorative tea, a giant box of tissues and a bewildered look on my face.

If I was bed-ridden or constantly throwing up or something like that I probably wouldn’t feel this guilt about not being at work. But a cold seems so weak. And I won’t dress it up by calling it the flu. It’s just a cold. I need to work on this.

But my house is grateful.

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I live in a world where change is happening at an ever more frequent pace.

In my work environment we go through a major organisational restructure every two years and lower level reorganisation more frequently in between. It seems that these days my work environment is always in a state of flux.

My personal life has seen many changes over the past year: my daughter Seona moved out of home and away from Melbourne to the wilds of Sydney for work reasons. This was a major physical and emotional upheaval for both of us. Both of my brothers have had significant upheavals in their family’s lives; which spill over to all members of my family as we are all very close. One of my brothers is currently living in my house for a few months, which obviously has an impact on my life (and, contrary to expectations, it’s working out very well). I have begun and continued a new relationship in the last year, introducing yet more change into my life.

Obviously many of these changes have brought positive outcomes. And ones which have negative outcomes can also have a positive side to them. But coping with unrelenting change can be quite stressful and is certainly tiring. Everyone needs an emotional sanctuary they can go to, where the world is a calm and tranquil place. For me it’s my scrapbooking hobby and my Garden Sanctuary.

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