July 5, 2006
Independence - living in the ’selfish’ years
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Independence.
What a very big word that is. It embraces the fundamental principles of most of the people on this planet, but what does it really mean?
To me independence is a double edged sword.
I enjoy the freedom to make my own decisions, choose my own direction, not have to ask permission for what I want to do (within the constraints of society’s structure). I am very protective of ‘my space’. Having raised my daughter and sent her forth into the world to enhance and improve it (or wreak havoc, depending on her mood), I am now in my ‘selfish’ years. A strong sense of independence helps me to enjoy them to the full; to do what I want to do when I want to do it without needing to consult someone else.
When my daughter moved out of home and up to Sydney last year my family were very concerned with how I would feel about living on my own. Seona and I have always enjoyed a very close relationship, both as best friends and as mother and daughter. And whilst I obviously missed her, I found I enjoyed the sense of freedom that living on my own brought. I now realise that whilst I am comfortable to share my space temporarily with someone else (my youngest brother is currently living with me for a few months), I look forward to having my own space back in my total control at a future point in time (even though I’m currently being cooked wonderful meals and I will sorely miss that).
But everything has its price.
The price of independence is taking the responsibility for the ‘bad’ things that happen. The heater that breaks down in the middle of winter and needs to be replaced. Any issues that may arise with the neighbours that have to be dealt with. Ongoing maintenance of the property. Exactly the same sorts of things that have to be faced by independent states, countries as well as individuals. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. But is it worth it?
Absolutely!!!
Stumble it!
5 Responses to “Independence - living in the ’selfish’ years”
hear! hear! I know everyone thinks I am nuts about how I reacted to the children leaving the house. Just because they have flown the coop doesn’t mean I love them less, it just means that I now had the opportunity to be me. That was until the grandkids came along, lol.
By Tink on Jul 5, 2006
It’s been interesting to see how many people who write about independence also use the words like freedom and responsibility! Thanks for sharing.
By loony on Jul 5, 2006
ITA about the double edged sword. And my kids are still young! even the few times that they are at grandma’s or nana’s, I don’t know what to do with my own (limited) independence.
By faerywings on Jul 5, 2006