Scraps Of Mind

IKEA - The Assembly Experience

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I have recently been told that Ingvar ‘Mr. Ikea’ Kamprad is now leading Bill ‘Mr. Microsoft (proof positive that aliens have invaded the earth)’ Gates in the Richest Man in the World Stakes.

My brother and I have just spent Sunday afternoon, Allan key in hand, putting together a computer desk. And as anyone who has assembled a piece of Ikea furniture can attest the Allan key is everything. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of Ikea. But assembling their furniture can only be described as ‘character building’.

Admitedly they were kind enough to supply us with duplicate pages for half of the instruction book. But tragically this was because they had left out the entire middle section of the book. So we knew how to start the project and how to finish it. It was just the little matter of bringing those two ends together that was the mystery tour.

But in order to assist the assembly experience, Ikea now supply a little black plastic extension thingy for the Allan key. What a useless and frustrating tool that turned out to be!! After fiddling around with it for half an hour trying to keep the Allan key fitted in it we realized that its primary function was to give you something that you could hurl across the room in frustration without sacrificing a vital component for the assembly of the furniture.

So Mr. Ikea, now that you’re the wealthiest man on the planet, could you please divert some of your dollars into improving the Allan key experience for your customers? Or at least make that Allan key extension thingy out of foam so it won’t damage anything when the customer hurls it across the room.